TSA Song: Grope Me Gently, TSA Security Guard

Don't get mad about invasive TSA pat-downs and screenings. Embrace them! Your tax dollars are paying for that groping, so you may as well enjoy it.

Artist: Larry Weaver
Song: Grope Me Gently, Airport Security Guard
Listen: Amazon, iTunes

Grope me gently, TSA security guard
     Run your firm hands along my thigh
Remove my shoes and softly stroke my feet
     You're the only reason that I fly

Rummage through my dirty underwear
     Touch my toothbrush with those same hands
Ball my dry-cleaned shirts into a wad
     Then take a closer look inside my pants

Detain me and search me. Make your country proud.
     I changed my name to Mohammed,
          so you would pick me out of the crowd!

Grope me gently, TSA security guard
     Run your firm hands along my thigh
Brush your big wand across my butt cheeks
     You're the only reason that I fly

I love to fly... and it shows!

Larry Weaver: Grope Me Gently, Airport Security Guard

Related to: TSA grope, TSA pat down, procedures, rules, TSA scanner, TSA screening, TSA body scan, TSA agent, Don't Grope Me Bro, TSA security, Don't Touch My Junk, parody, TSA protest, I Screen Myself, I Don't Like the TSA

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