If you've ever wondered what it takes to become a writer for Saturday Night Live, the April 30, 2008 cover story from Richmond, VA's Style Weekly has an excellent in-depth look. The article, Live from New York, chronicles the rise of Richmond-born writer and my long-time friend Bryan Tucker, and includes insightful behind-the-scenes commentary from the recent Ashton Kutcher show. Here are a few choice excerpts as it relates to comedy writing:
Since moving to New York in 1997, Tucker, 36, has gone from unknown stand-up comic to a hardworking comedy writer. He’s worked for such shows as “Late Show With David Letterman,” “The Chris Rock Show,” “Mad TV” and “Chappelle’s Show,” where he solidified his reputation as the white chocolate of comedy...
For Tucker, a joke can start as anything: a news story, something he observes or something he hears in passing. There are no hard rules. “One thing I’ve learned after doing this a few years: inspired ideas only come once in a while,” Tucker says. “The more professional you are, the more you learn to write something funny whether you have a great idea or not. You just do it so often you can make something serviceable out of things that are assigned to you.”
Usually, he’ll have an idea and run it by another writer or cast member. If that person likes the idea, they will try to write it together, sitting in a room and wracking their brains to come up with jokes or “beats” in a sketch. “Sometimes we come up with the script as we go, but that’s usually harder because you tend to second-guess every line as it goes. It’s better to figure out what it’s going to be, then have one person turn it into a script,” he says. He adds that he can always tell if a sketch is going to be successful if the camera guys are laughing during dress rehearsal. None are right now.
Sudeikis steps away and a hush falls over a small crowd of producers and stage managers. A woman yells “Quiet!” while Sudeikis walks onto a nearby set made to look like the deck of a cruise ship, joining Forte, Wiig and Kutcher. They’re working on one of several sketches that will be cut from the show, but nobody knows that yet. Losing your baby is a normal thing at “SNL,” a feeling all writers get used to: working madly on something all week only to see it disappear without a trace.
Even if a sketch makes it through to Saturday night, however, writers may have to significantly change things during the show. Once, while writing a show’s closing sketch, “Wine Lovers,” for host Antonio Banderas, Tucker had three minutes to take the four-and-a-half minute sketch, cut it to two and a half minutes, and make sure everyone understood the changes: the director, the actors, the cue-card holders...
If you have any interest in pursuing a career in comedy writing, this article is a must-read. It painstakingly details Bryan's beginnings from high school, though college, through touring with Selected Hilarity, temping, hitting open mics in New York, and every step in between. Plus, as an added bonus, it includes lots of quotes from me.
“The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” - Job 1: 21
The following is a true story.
Rhonda Byrne’s book, The Secret, has hovered at or near the top of the New York Times Best Seller list for 65 weeks. I must admit I was a little late joining the party. But a cultural phenomenon like The Secret can’t be ignored by someone who claims to be up on pop culture. I bought the book at Target (keeper of all of life’s great mysteries) and enjoyed the read. I even watched The Secret DVD.
The premise of The Secret lies within the “Law of Attraction.”
Ask: Know what you want and ask the universe for it.
Believe: Feel and behave as if the object of your desire is on its way.
Receive: Be open to receiving it.
I wholeheartedly believe in the Law of Attraction. But it’s not exactly groundbreaking stuff. In Matthew 7:7, the Bible reads “Ask, and it shall be given you; Seek, and ye shall find; Knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” Sounds familiar, right?
One particular passage of The Secret caught my eye. In the chapter "The Secret to Money", David Schirmer told the story of visualizing checks coming in the mail instead of bills: "I just visualized checks coming in the mail... today I just get checks in the mail." Byrnes goes on to add, "we have received hundreds and hundreds of letters from people who have said that since watching the film they have received unexpected checks in the mail."
Huh?
I decided to give it a try. As Q1 drew to a close, I needed quite a bit of money to meet my financial goal for the quarter. I knew it was possible, but I wasn’t sure where the money would come from. I went to The Secret website, printed out their "Bank of the Universe" blank check (to help me visualize the money coming in), and filled it out. I posted it on my refrigerator so I would be reminded every day that it was coming. Then I waited...
Let me be clear about this. I fully believed that I would receive this money. As the month passed by, I never doubted.
Sure enough, the money came. I opened my mail to find an unexpected check in the amount of... $108,559.00!
But why did I get this check? And what was it for? Certainly my bank wasn’t about to cash a check in this amount without some investigation.
I called up the organization who sent the check and left a voicemail inquiring about the purpose of the payment. I never mentioned the amount, just the invoice number. I posted the new check on my refrigerator in front of The Secret check. I wondered what I would do with the money.
After a few weeks, the phone call finally came. It turns out the check should have been for $25.00, and it was a monumental clerical error. The lady was gracious that I hadn’t cashed the check, and asked me to return it so she would not get in further trouble. I gladly obliged.
The end of quarter came. I did not meet my goal.
Is that the end of the story? I don’t think so. I still believe the money is coming. Maybe someone will read this story and be inspired to prove The Secret correct.
Just in case, my mailing address is: Larry Weaver PO Box 14313 Durham, NC 27709
Kristy Lee Cook pulled our heart strings on American Idol with her story of plucky log-cabin dwelling small town horse trainer who sells her horse to travel to the audition. Aww... And the judges seemed so sincere when they "discovered" this amazing new talent. I mean, what's not to love?
Everyone knows the game is rigged, right? We don't care if some of the people are actors, or if the plucky small town girl was signed to Britney Spear's management team, do we?
Here's a news post from 2001: Kristy Lee Signs In Triplicate with Arista, Britney, and BMI Brand-new Arista Nashville artist Kristy Lee continued to establish her roots in Music City by signing a songwriter affiliation deal with BMI at their Nashville offices. In addition to her label contract, Lee recently inked a deal with Britney Spears' newly-formed production company as its debut artist. Superstar Spears, a BMI affiliate, has already agreed to make a cameo appearance in Lee's first video. The 17-year-old singer claims Selma, Oregon as her home, although recent months have been spent attending to business matters in Nashville and performing live in various venues in the Dallas-Ft. Worth area. Lee adds horses and softball to her passions beyond music. She is managed by Marty Rendleman, who formerly managed LeAnn Rimes. - BMI.com
It gets better. Watch her in bed, in a wet t-shirt, in lingerie, and singing in front of the Confederate flag in her debut music video:
I'll ask again, does anyone care that the game is rigged? The whole thing makes the ending rant from contestant Christina Tolisano that much more ironic...
For years I’ve read how HBO’s The Wire is the best show on television. Last year I began watching with Season 4, and I have to concur. Season 4 of The Wire is easily one of the greatest achievements in television or film ever.
Using Baltimore as a backdrop, The Wire reveals an ugly side of America that few of us ever see - or care to see. Although not filmed in documentary style, the show is so well written, produced, and edited that it seems as if you are peering in on the lives of very real people.
Here’s the catch – it’s not easy to watch. After nearly every episode I have to consult the HBO website, discussion boards, and Google just to figure out all of the characters and their relationships. Never has a show been so challenging... or rewarding. I encourage you to seek it out Season 4 on DVD and make the commitment to see it through.
Season 5 begins with the disbanding of the major crimes unit investigating West-Side Baltimore drug kingpin Marlo Stanfield. After a year, the unit still has no evidence and no witnesses to the murders perpetrated by Stanfield. That is, until Episode 2.
Episode 2 of season 5 ended so dramatically – with the alcohol-induced breakdown of Detective McNulty, that no one seemed to notice there may be a new witness in police custody. When Snoop and Chris gunned down Junebug at home for disrespecting Marlo, Michael had strict orders to drop anyone who came out the back door. But Michael, showing that perhaps he is not cut out for this game, let a young kid flee the scene.
Did the child see Snoop and Chris? Could he identify them in a police lineup? Will Marlo be brought to justice before the series finale?
Like any great work of art, you can read a lot into the details. Many saw episode 2 as a grave foreshadowing of things to come. Me? I saw a glimmer of hope. Perhaps there will be a new day in Baltimore after all.
To break into professional wrestling, you need to network with industry insiders, gain a solid knowledge of backstage politics, hope for a little luck, and grow an incredibly thick skin. Here's my story...
Make Friends in the Business
My first "insider" contact in professional wrestling was the Rev. Billy C. Wirtz. I had watched the flamboyant 6'4" manger on Championship Wrestling from Florida during my sophomore year at UNC. It turns out that he lived in Raleigh, NC and was a professional touring comedian/musician. I met him after a show at the Skylight Exchange in Chapel Hill, and he couldn't have been nicer. He turned me on to the insider wrestling newsletter, The Wrestling Observer by Dave Meltzer.
The Observer pretty much taught me everything I needed to know about the professional wrestling business. Through my research, I learned about an upcoming South Atlantic Pro Wrestling (SAPW) show promoted by Greg Price. SAPW was the remnants of a promotion started by George Scott, John Ringley and Mike Lamberth called NAWA. The trio hoped to recapture the glory years of Mid-Atlantic Pro Wrestling. "Number 1" Paul Jones and Frank Dusek eventually took over and rechristened the promotion SAPW. I attended the Denton, NC card in January of 1992, met Greg, and asked if I could mail him some ideas for wrestling storylines.
I went back home and typed up a very detailed storyline involving a face turn by The Russian Bear Ivan Koloff. The Berlin wall had just fallen, and it seemed like a good time to freshen up Uncle Ivan's character. Ivan would bring out a handwritten letter from his mother imploring him to end his hatred of Americans, and to embrace the very country that had brought him so much success. Of course, the entire angle was just a ruse to set up Ivan and his nephew as "The Hardliners" - the last of a dying breed of communist sympathizers.
As luck would have it, SAPW just lost its booker - the volatile Ragin Bull Manny Fernandez. Greg liked my ideas and asked me to write for the TV shows. Just like that, I was the booker for a nationally-broadcast wrestling promotion at the age of 21.
Learn from the Past While Looking Forward
Greg let me decide who wrestled and why. The television show was beyond stale, and I implemented a lot of changes - many of which were not well-received. They included:
Having Chief Wahoo McDaniel lose a retirement match where he could no longer wrestle on television. The Chief was getting old and his matches were a TV snore-fest. But he was still a good ticket seller and recognizable name. My idea was that he could still appear on TV, but people would have to attend the house shows to see the Chief exact his revenge.
Having our champion, The German Stormtrooper Helmut Hesler, win matches cleanly. I borrowed a lot of ideas from All Japan Pro Wrestling, and this one did not go well with the boys. I wanted the heels to win their matches cleanly, and only cheat on occasion. To me, building up a strong champion made it more impactful when he eventually lost. By the way, the long-term plan was for the belt to eventually go to a young Rob Van Dam.
Incorporating "shoot" (real) segments into the program. On one occasion, I had wrestler Roughouse Graham interrupt an interview with RVD and Bob Caudle saying he was sick of how he was being treated in SAPW. He dropped some insider names and walked off the set as we cut to black. This was not an "Internet" angle designed to cater to hardcore fans (we had neither the Internet nor hardcore fans). This was simply a way to break up the monotony of a one-hour wrestling show and hopefully get fans talking. It did just that.
Having "jobbers" (the guys who always lose) win matches. We had some pretty good job guys, and again the idea was to create an "anything can happen" television show.
I also did other "controversial" things at the time including babyface vs. babyface matches with lighter-weight wrestlers to let the workers showcase their abilities outside the confines of a traditional good guy vs. bad guy context. Many of my ideas eventually came to light in ECW and WWE.
In fact, the famous RVD vs. Sabu "respect" series in ECW was exactly like a very detailed storyline I had written for RVD in SAPW that never aired. Coincidence? Probably. I also wrote a very detailed character sketch for "The Drifter" to be portrayed by Bryan Clark (Nightstalker, Adam Bomb, Kronik). He was to be a mysterious tweener (neither a good guy nor a bad guy) designed to appeal to disenfranchised youth. Similarities to this character were later popularized by Raven, and to a lesser extent, Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Perhaps the biggest change I brought to SAPW was actually writing out scripts for the shows. I'm not sure if I was the first wrestling script writer in the business, but no one there had ever seen or heard of one. It just hadn't been done before. To protect me from the boys (they did not like the idea of written scripts), Greg posted the scripts on the walls and claimed ownership.
Sample Wrestling Script:
Alas, my proposed Rob Van Dam vs. Vince Torelli (aka "The World's Most Dangerous Man" Ken Shamrock) feud never took place.
After eight glorious television shows, SAPW was on its last leg and Greg was ready to jump ship. He lined up an investor in Augusta, GA to start a new promotion and talked me into going along. Believe it or not, I dropped out of the prestigious Masters of Accounting program at UNC to move to Augusta to produce a new wrestling show. I was offered $25,000 a year and carte blanche to mold the show as I saw fit. How could I say no?
Know When to Walk Away
Things in Augusta never quite panned out like they were supposed to. I was getting paid, but it didn't take long to see that the money for the TV show and training facility wasn't coming. With the writing on the wall, I gave notice to Greg and returned to Chapel Hill to pursue a career in comedy.
I grew up a lot in a very short amount of time. I made a life-long friend in future WWE champ Rob Van Dam. I have a lot of good stories that involve Rob, and they certainly deserve their own post later on. I also have fond memories of watching movies the likes of which I had never seen before (or since) with "Father" James Mitchell, dodging strange overtures from the Iron Sheik, dining with Junkyard Dog, and acting as a very unlikely bodyguard for Bambi at seedy (and that's putting it nicely) autograph signings.
I also witnessed a lot of things that aren't suitable for print in this forum, including a few felonies.
I walked away from the business, only returning sporadically to ring announce a special show, appear as a pro wrestling manager, or get assaulted by the Hardy Boys. I also spent some time in ECW, where I shared stories with Chris Jericho, rode through South Philly in the Insane Clown Posse's hoopty, and picked up Terry Funk in Sabu's Winnebago.
I later conceptualized and self-published the critically-acclaimed book Tributes: Remembering Some of the World's Greatest Wrestlersalong with the help of Dave Meltzer and Ted Hobgood, before later selling the rights for the book to another publishing company.
At the height of wrestling's popularity in the mid-90's, I had the possibility of working alongside Vince Russo and Ed Ferrara as a WWE script writer. I declined even going to Stamford for an meeting. My dream of working in pro wrestling had long since passed.
Like many old-time fans, my love of wrestling was irreparably broken when WCW died. Vince McMahon's current WWE is a far cry from the believable style popularized in the Carolinas by Blackjack Mulligan, Ric Flair, Ricky Steamboat, and countless others.
Once in a while, I'll run across an old YouTube clip that reminds me of my former love and rekindles my memories in pro wrestling.
Have you seen the latest Target commercial on TV? The 2-day sale commercial looks like a Flash-based video game (it is), and features a soundtrack from what sounds like a girls cheerleading team. You can take a look at it here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=FZf7TjGbaHA
The song is by without a doubt my favorite new band to emerge over the past several years - The Go! Team. The song is called "We Just Won't Be Defeated" and is off their 2004 debut album "Thunder, Lightning, Strike". I don't believe there is an official video for the song, but you can enjoy this live concert version:
The Go! Team are an English, Brighton-based six piece band (with two drummers) whose songs are a mixture of action theme songs, cheerleader chants, guitars and early hip hop, with a hint of '70s funk. They are awesome.
The Go! Team more than deserve their own post, so I'll compose a more detailed writeup later. For now, enjoy a Target commercial actually worth watching instead of skipping through. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Are you dreaming of stepping out this Halloween in your best Optimus Prime Costume? Perhaps you'd prefer a Bumble Bee Costume, or another of your favorite Transformer costumes for kids? While it's not a technically a guide to Transformer costume, here's a good guide to building a giant robot costume.
Just a few minor tweaks and you'll be Optimus Prime or Bumble Bee in no time. Looks fairly straightforward, right? OK, here's another idea: just go as Sam (Shia LaBeouf) or Mikaela (Megan Fox) and rent your own giant robot.
Here' s my favorite Giant Robot for Rent: Number 9 out of Greensboro, NC:
His fee starts at $1,000 and up plus travel. It's a small price to pay for being the coolest kid (or adult) on the block. You can get a free estimate here.
No, he's not technically a Transformer. But who's going to make fun of you when you're flanked by a Eight-Foot-Tall Giant Robot?
Tags: Optimus Prime Costumes, Transformers Bumble Bee Costumes, Transformer Costumes For Kids, Transformer Deluxe Costume, How To Make a Transformer Costume
Water cooler talk around these parts occasionally turns to reality TV. Someone might ask me “Who do you think will win Dancing with the Stars?” Truthfully, I have no idea. Nor do I have any idea who will win American Idol.
The reason I don’t know who is going to win is simple: I don’t know who is voting. If you gave me a demographic breakdown of the voters (age, gender, geographical location, economic status), I’ll bet you I could venture a really good guess.
Dancing with the Stars is unique because your success depends in large part with who you are “randomly” paired with. You need a good instructor, a good relationship, and a certain amount of chemistry. But is there more to it than that? Could the person you’re partnered with actually be a detriment?
Consider this: in four seasons of Dancing with the Stars, Cheryl Burke has won twice. The arguably equally as talented Edyta Sliwinska has only placed as high as 3rd – and that was with the enormously popular Joey Lawrence (and yes, I realize how ridiculous those last four words sound).
Is Cheryl that much better than Edyta, or is something more sinister in play? Could it be that the people voting dislike Edyta? Ask the ladies around here and you’ll get some pretty negative responses towards Mrs. Sliwinska. Women don’t seem to like the way she dresses, the ways she carries herself, or the way she looks at her partners. I guess in contrast Cheryl just seems more… well, likeable.
So is Edyta doomed? Is she destined to be voted off early simply because the people calling in don’t like her? Maybe so. If you find yourself partnered with her on the show, are you automatically regulated to not finishing well? Perhaps.
But don’t feel too sorry for the guys paired with Edyta. They do, after all, get to dance with Edyta. And that’s a fate certainly worth coming in 5th place.
Congratulations to my long-time colleague Jon Reep, winner of this year's Last Comic Standing on NBC. Jon is not just the pride of Hickory, NC - he's the pride of Raleigh, NC and NCSU. We're all very proud of him.
I first met Jon at Raleigh Comedy Club Charlie Goodnights in the late 90's. Jon's act back then consisted mainly of HIGH-energy dance routines performed to ear-shattering music. He absolutely owned the club back then and quickly built a reputation for himself. He hit the college market and was an immediate hit with his lovable persona and frenetic comedy style. His act is authentic. What you see is what you get.
Jon made the move to Los Angeles in 2000 and seemingly overnight landed the role as the "Hemi Guy" in a memorable Dodge campaign. A recurring role on the ABC sitcom "Rodney" followed, all capped off by his win on Last Comic Standing.
Ten years is no overnight success. Yet Jon's career trajectory has been nothing short of straight up. I can't wait to see what happens next. Congratulations, Jon. You deserve it!
Have you seen the new iPod nano commercial? You know, the catchy one with the lyrics "1 2 3 4 tell me that you love me more". Here is the commercial:
If you've been wondering who sings the iPod nano song in the commercial, wonder no more. The artist is Feist (Leslie Feist), the song is called "1 2 3 4" from the album "The Reminder". Here's the video:
Congratulations to Feist on the exposure. It's a gorgeous song that will no doubt help Apple sell tons of nanos.
The viral video sensation known as "Frustrated Video Dater Loses His Cool," "Crazed Video Dater," or "Dating Video Losers" has swept across the Net. Watch the video and read all about its origins below.
There is surprisingly a lot of debate on the Net about whether this video is "real" or "fake." That ambiguity and ensuing debate has certainly fueled the video's popularity.
The video originated from a homemade TV "pilot" shot in 1995 by Selected Hilarity Comedy Group, which consisted of four friends and me from the University of North Carolina. We were at the height of our popularity, touring cross-country literally as much as we wanted to. We had a lot of interest in production companies in NY and LA, and our agent thought it would be a good if we self-produced a sketch comedy show pilot to shop around (the soundness of that idea is certainly debatable).
Our idea was a show that would follow us around the country on tour. Each week would be from a different town on the road, and the show would combine "reality" style segments on the street, clips from the live performances, and pre-taped sketches. Keep in mind that in 1995 this concept was pretty far ahead of its time. I'm not sure our pilot approached that concept, but that was the idea.
Scott came up with the idea for the "frustrated video dater" sketch and stars in the sketch. I'm not sure where he got the inspiration, but hopefully he will share that in the comments section. We recorded the faux blooper from the "Casanova Dating Service" at the Student Television studio on the campus of UNC. The grainy film effect was added using the state-of-the art Commodore Amiga 2000 Video Toaster.
I have no idea what our agent did with the pilot. We premiered two 30-minute episodes of "The Selected Hilarity Show" to a very enthusiastic crowd of about 200 at UNC. Other than that, I'm not sure if anyone ever saw any of these sketches. We went our separate ways less than two years later and the pilot has remained in my attic ever since. It was always my intention to eventually do something with the video. It just took me 10 years to get around to it.
This Spring I finally started converting all of my VHS tapes to DVD. I couldn't find an original copy of the pilot, so what you see on the Net is a 12-year-old bad copy of a VHS tape from my attic transferred to DVD to AVI to MPG to FLV. That also explains how we made the footage look so "old."
Besides the "frustrated video dater" sketch, two other sketches from the show "Momo the Sign Language Gorilla" and "The Floor" experience popularity after both were featured on the homepage of MySpace. We're glad everyone enjoys the videos. It's satisfying to have help create comedy that stands the test of time. Be sure to check out sketches from The Selected Hilarity Show on YouTube.
Despite attending college during the heyday of The Smiths, I didn’t get into them as much as my classmates. I have kept up with Morrissey’s solo career and admired much of his work. My wife even dragged me to see Johnny Marr and the Healers at the Cat’s Cradle a while back. But it wasn’t until the release of Morrissey’s 2004 CD “You Are the Quarry” that it all came together for me. In particular, the song “I’m Not Sorry” struck me as one of the most beautiful songs ever written by any artist in any genre. I went back to explore the full cannon of Morrissey’s work and I was hooked.
Fast forward to July 21, 2007 and a seemingly unlikely place to end Morrissey’s current “Greatest Hits” tour – Myrtle Beach, SC. Yes, the man who put the “M” in “Manchester” was planning to close his tour at the beach that put the “Red” in “Redneck”. It seemed an unlikely combination. It was my first Morrissey concert, and I had no idea what to expect.
My wife and I stayed at the Courtyard by Marriott at Barefoot Landing. It’s convenient for attending the House of Blues, but not convenient for much else. By the way, be sure to eat at the House of Blues if you’re attending a General Admission seating concert. You’ll get to bypass the line and be one of the first in.
Morrissey attracts all types. The line was filled with everything from preppies to Goths to greasers, and from teenage misfits to middle aged office workers. These 2,500 or so people would otherwise never mingle, but here they were – anxiously chatting with each other in line about their favorite Moz memories.
The House of Blues is a great venue. We headed down front, slightly stage right. Even though the show was sold out, it never felt crowded. The air conditioning pumped strong all night. I’ve have never felt cooler at any concert.
After seeing a ton of concert footage from around the World, I was a little nervous about being down front. But the crowd in my section was incredibly well-mannered. They’d politely push forward when Morrissey extended his hand, then retreat like the ocean’s tide when he stepped away. The energy and adoration in the room was unreal.
And Morrissey? Well, he was awesome. From “Panic” to “How Soon is Now,” he tore through classic after classic. He joked, he smiled, he played with the crowd. According to the hardcores on the Morrissey website, it was one of his single best concerts in over 10 years.
Who would have guessed that Morrissey and Myrtle Beach would make such a winning combination? There was magic in the House of Blues that night. And I’m glad I was there to witness it.
How do we get Vince McMahon to clean up the drug problem in WWE?Give him a financial incentive to do so.
In the wake of the Chris Benoit tragedy, pro wrestling has received an unprecedented amount of mainstream media coverage. A full two weeks after the grisly double murder/suicide, Chris Benoit appears on the cover of People Magazine, and Larry King Live plans to devote an entire hour to drug use in pro wrestling. Everyone is seeking answers to explain this horrific act.
Two key talking points have emerged in the discussions: rampant drug use (particularly steroids) among pro wrestlers, and the lack of an “off-season” – or any scheduled vacation at all – to recuperate from the rigors of the pro wrestling lifestyle. Some are calling for Congressional intervention. Others are calling for WWE owner Vince McMahon to step down. But if history is any indication, this story will blow over and nothing will change.
Change Must Come From The Top Down
We can glean from past actions and interviews that McMahon is fascinated with the muscled-up bodybuilder look, and gets incredibly defensive when people start pointing fingers at him. Despite numerous tragedies, he has shown little or no interest in making changes that would benefit the well-being of the wrestlers. The current “Wellness Policy” – put in place after the untimely death of Eddie Guerrero – is by all accounts nothing more than a PR move to show that the WWE is “testing.” So how do we get McMahon to enact real changes to improve the health of wrestlers? We have to give him a financial incentive to do so.
The May 14 issue of the Wrestling Observer newsletter outlined the major business changes made when WWE lost two headliners within the same week due to injuries commonly associated with steroid use. WWE champion The Undertaker had to abandon his planned long-term title reign, and up-and-comer Ken Kennedy lost his intended year-long title chase schedule to culminate at Wrestlemania. Editor Dave Meltzer made a very astute observation about the WWE’s Wellness Policy: a key goal of the policy should actually be to keep the wrestlers healthy. This is how we can get WWE to initiate positive changes in the industry: show McMahon that it is good for the bottom line.
It's Cheaper to Retain Stars Than it is to Create New Ones
Other industries have regular studies on the actual monetary cost of retaining employees versus training new ones. This is nothing new, yet no one in the mainstream media has made the connection to the pro wrestling industry. Consider this Who’s Who list of inactive WWE superstars:
Wrestlers who died while working for WWE: Eddie Guerrero, Brian Pillman, Chris Benoit (not counting the dozens of active wrestlers who passed while not employed by WWE)
Main eventers who quit WWE due to demands of the industry: Bill Goldberg, Brock Lesnar, Rob Van Dam, Chris Jericho, Big Show
Current WWE Superstars on the sideline due to injuries: Triple H, Undertaker, Rey Mysterio, Shawn Michaels, Ken Kennedy
Recent WWE headliners forced to retire early due to injuries: Stone Cold Steve Austin, Mick Foley, JBL
That list makes for quite the potential PPV lineup.
Think about that for one second. What is the present value of having these wrestlers healthy and active? What is the future value? These are real bottom-line numbers that can be calculated. With these figures, we can put a dollar value on the case for making positives changes to WWE. We can calculate the value of giving wrestlers time off. We can calculate the value for enforcing a stricter drug policy and suspending or firing those who fail. We can make a case to Vince McMahon, WWE, and its shareholders in a language they all can agree on: the bottom line.
Healthy Wrestlers are Good for Business
I challenge prominent pro wrestling journalists and the mainstream media to make this case. Come up with the numbers and get them out into the open. Vince McMahon’s past actions have not shown that he truly cares about the well-being of his wrestlers. But he does care about business. Let’s show him that keeping wrestlers healthy is good business.
For Tucker, a joke can start as anything: a news story, something he observes or something he hears in passing. There are no hard rules. “One thing I’ve learned after doing this a few years: inspired ideas only come once in a while,” Tucker says. “The more professional you are, the more you learn to write something funny whether you have a great idea or not. You just do it so often you can make something serviceable out of things that are assigned to you.”
Even if a sketch makes it through to Saturday night, however, writers may have to significantly change things during the show. Once, while writing a show’s closing sketch, “Wine Lovers,” for host Antonio Banderas, Tucker had three minutes to take the four-and-a-half minute sketch, cut it to two and a half minutes, and make sure everyone understood the changes: the director, the actors, the cue-card holders...
, has hovered at or near the top of the New York Times Best Seller list for 65 weeks. I must admit I was a little late joining the party. But a cultural phenomenon like The Secret can’t be ignored by someone who claims to be up on pop culture. I bought the book at Target (keeper of all of life’s great mysteries) and enjoyed the read. I even watched 
.
