I'd like to give a word of thanks to my long-time acting agent, Jackie Pressley of Capital Artists, Inc (CAI). Fellow comedian and actor Mic Cover got me in the ground floor with CAI around fifteen years ago.
Despite absolutely no acting experience, Jackie took me on anyway. At the time I was a hot-shot young comedian filled with a combustible mix of confidence and naivete. My comedy group frequently made the rounds in New York and Los Angeles, and we had the ears and eyes of some of the biggest producers in show business. I regularly fielded advances from Hollywood heavyweights like Sandollar Productions (Rosanne, Buffy the Vampire Slayer), attended exclusive industry parties with Jerry Seinfeld, and could get the head of casting at ABC on the phone with one call. There was even some buzz that one of the members of our group was in the running as the host of a brand-new show on Comedy Central called The Daily Show.
As you might imagine, I did some very high-profile auditions back then. I'm sure they were beyond awful. I had no idea what I was doing.
That's the true beauty of Hollywood. When you have a "buzz" going, your name can open any door. People will watch you and take you very seriously - even though you're really just a completely inexperienced country boy from North Carolina who just months earlier had never flown in a plane.
Fast-forward 15 years and I still go on auditions. I have a different confidence now, one that comes with years of experience and the comfort of knowing that the acting gig I'm shooting for won't make or break me. I still don't call myself an actor. To me, that is a slight on others who have studied the craft for years. I present myself as a "comedian", and Jackie sends me on auditions accordingly. On set, I'm professional, joke with the crew, and try and keep everyone laughing. It's all about knowing your role (literally) and playing to your strengths.
Jackie has stood by me for 15 years now, and I thank her for her hard work and determination. If you need to hire an actor for a commercial, TV or film fole in Wilmington, Raleigh, Greensboro, Charlotte, or anywhere in the Southeast, contact Jackie at Capital Artists, Inc. Be sure to tell her that Larry Weaver sent you!
I've wanted to appear as a guest on the nationally-syndicated John Boy and Billy radio show for years. I grew up in the same town as John Boy (Graham, NC), and I've watched their popularity skyrocket over the past 20 years. Guest coordinator Marci Moran graciously invited me to appear in December to promote my eBook Funny Employee Awards.
I arrived early for my appearance. The first thing that struck me was how much fun everyone was having. People were laughing and joking as they arrived at work. These are clearly people that enjoy their job - it's not an act.
Marci lead me from the Green Room into the Blue Room adjacent to the studio so I could watch the morning's broadcast. When it came time to do my bit, I lead off with some stand-up comedy bits that I centered around John Boy's hometown of Graham. I figured it was better to be funny than to plug my product. The risk paid off. After my bit, John Boy invited me to hang around for the remainder of the hour.
I even got to play a round of "Wordy Word" where I somehow beat John Boy and his partner. I'm not sure how I managed to pull that off with all the nerves.
I want to thank John Boy, Billy, Marci, Jackie, Jeff, and all of the Big Show crew for having me on the show. It was a thrill that I won't soon forget!
One of my big promotional ideas for FunnyEmployeeAwards.com was to appear on CNBC's The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch. I studied the show all year to find out what sort of businesses the producers liked to profile. Then in September the show announced a call for businesses to pitch their Million Dollar Idea. Perfect timing! I set up my camcorder, recorded my 30 second pitch, and sent in the video. And what happened next? The financial markets collapsed, and all talk turned to the economy.
It seemed the World would never see my brilliant pitch. Until now...
One of my first viral Internet successes was a website dedicated to haunted mobile homes. It started as a comedy routine, then became a sketch on my second album, then the hit morning radio song "Ghost in the Trailer" on my third album, and finally the highly-trafficked and much talked-about website, www.TrailerGhost.com.
Every Halloween, like the restless spirit of the undead, the site rises back up to haunt me. Reporters call, traffic spikes, and stories roll in of people who seriously think their mobile home is haunted. I can't make this stuff up.
The site is still good for a few laughs, so go check it out - if you dare!!!
“We celebrate the lives of the dead / It's like a man's best party only happens when he dies.” – Body in a Box, City and Colour
The reaper makes frequent visits to the critical care unit at Moses Cone Hospital. Yesterday, his presence cast a heavy shadow over Mom’s room. And even though he managed to break the spirit of the most optimistic of well-wishers, his intended passenger had no plans to leave just yet.
You can imagine my surprise when I walked in to see Mom sitting upright in a chair by the bed, laughing and telling jokes. “So you’re back from the dead again,” I asked. She just looked up and said, “You can’t get rid of a good mule.”
*****
Mom knew a thing or two about mules. She grew up as the daughter of a sharecropper in Person County, NC. Her sisters, Phyliss, Brenda, and Joan worked the tobacco fields alongside her brothers Robert, Paul, and Ricky. They didn’t own the land, or the tools, or the mules that pulled the plow. But they worked it all to survive.
Faming tobacco is excruciating work. There’s the planting, the hoeing, the worming, the plucking, the tying, the curing… And breathing that red dust all day as the hot Carolina sun beats you down. It was backbreaking work. I got a small taste working Uncle Neil’s fields as a kid. But that was just a weekend job for me. This was a year-round reality for Mom and her siblings.
Grandpa’s plan was a simple one: more kids meant more hands to work more acres. But more kids also meant more mouths to feed. And when they yearly harvest came in, and the landowner was paid for the land, and the tools, and the animals, there was little left over for the family. It was a losing proposition.
Mom saw marrying my Dad as a way out of the tobacco fields for good. Little did she know that her hardest labor was yet to come.
Mom’s brothers and sisters have been through some trials. But make no mistake – they embody the word “tough.” Ironically, the same hard work that would contribute to many of their health problems later on was the same hard work that gave them the resolve to make it through.
*****
So there’s Momma sitting in the chair, chatting away. “We’re going walking down the hall tomorrow. And when I get out of here, we’re all going down to see Robert in Texas.”
It seemed impossible just hours ago.
Heart attack? Stroke? Pneumonia? Spinal fusion? That was yesterday.
Today the sun came up over Moses Cone, and with it a reason to celebrate.
"Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand." – Ephesians 6:13
I always loved that Bible verse. There’s so much meaning in those final two words. On Friday I saw it written on a sign outside the old church down the road: “And having done all, to stand.” I pondered its meaning anew…
My sister called early this morning, “You need to come on back to the hospital. Momma’s not doing too good.” That’s all that needed to be said. I had heard that message before on the day my Dad passed away.
And as I made the long drive back to the hospital I had left just hours earlier, I couldn’t help but wonder, “Is this it?”
*****
Mom has overcome tragedy many times. She’s suffered more heartache than anyone should have to bear. From the tragic death of her father – a man I never had the privilege of meeting – to the unimaginable loss of her daughter, my sister and best friend, to Rocky Mountain Spotted Tick Fever. Next her younger brother died in a horrific auto accident, then her Mom passed, and finally her husband, my Dad, lost a nearly fifteen year struggle with heart failure.
Through it all, my Mom soldiered on. Never wavering, never stumbling.
That was Mom’s way. She faced each tragedy, each day, with a workman-like attitude. By the time a crippling combination of Fibromyalgia and Osteoporosis forced her into an early retirement, she had accrued a full year’s worth of sick days. Momma didn’t take sick days. Least not for her, anyway.
She took care of my Dad through countless hospital visits. She took care of us all. And when Dad’s heart finally stopped beating, there was a bit of hope in the air. His long battle had carried a heavy burden. And despite the sadness, a weight had been lifted. I was excited for Mom – excited to see what she would do; excited to see what she would become.
Just a few weeks later I sat by her bedside as she awaited triple bypass surgery.
It was unexpected. She reluctantly went to the doctor about some tightness in her chest, and hours later she was transported to Duke Medical Center for life-changing surgery. As we talked through the night, she didn’t complain. She said she’d get through it, and she did.
Over the past five years, Mom has suffered through immeasurable pain. Heart attack... Fibromyalgia... Diabetes... Back surgery after back surgery...
Over those same five years, Mom has traveled the country and visited Mexico. She’s walked the beach. She’s hiked the mountains of Colorado. She fulfilled a dream that her and Dad shared of seeing the Grand Canyon. She’s soldiered on…
Her back pain recently got so bad that she could no longer walk without a walker. This hurt her pride, but she didn’t show it. The neurosurgeon recommended spinal fusion, along with removing some fragmented vertebrate and the insertion of pins into her spine.
This surgery was serious. The best case scenario was several days in the hospital and four weeks in a nursing facility. But Mom agreed. After all, there was more of the country she wanted to see.
The surgery went well. The aftermath didn’t.
*****
When I arrived at the hospital this morning, the prognosis wasn’t good. A heart attack… possibly two. A stroke. Pneumonia. The odds weren’t in her favor this time.
When everyone had left the room, I took her hand and leaned over. “Mom, are you going to make it,” I asked. “Oh I’m going to make it out of here,” she said, “but it ain’t going to be easy.”
I don’t know if Mom will live to see tomorrow. But I do know that when the doctor pulls the curtain for the last time, and when that final breath of air comes passing through her lips, she’s not going to leave this world lying down.
She taught me today what the sign on the church means.
Remember your summer orientation session when you started college? I’m performing comedy for this year’s North Carolina State University orientation, and I’m looking for funny advice or stories for the incoming freshman. What do you wish people would have told you?
Just to refresh your memory, here is a glimpse at the NCSU schedule:
Students start arriving at 7:45 AM – most after driving a long way to get to campus that early.
Students must wear their nametag at all times while at orientation.
Students get their ID made, and then enjoy a campus tour with their Orientation Counselor (OC).
Students eat all meals at Fountain Dining Hall!
Informative and entertaining orientation sessions include:
Finding your place at NC State.
How to avoid crime and stay safe while on campus and in Raleigh.
How to eat healthy and make wise personal choices.
Advice on being safe if sexually active.
How to avoid underage drinking, illegal music downloads, and other campus offenses.
Brings back good memories, right? I don’t want to sound old here, but in my day “illegal music downloads” meant taping Wham!’s latest song directly off the radio onto cassette through your boom box. And if your boom box had two cassette slots? Well, then you could venture into the illicit World of “file sharing!”
Please use the comments section to posts your funny stories, advice for incoming freshman, jokes, and other observations. The class of 2011 – and I – will thank you!
I got a nice phone call from Jason LeVasseur from the band Life in General. He was on tour out in the MidWest and heard my song “My Virtual Girlfriend” on Sirius Blue Collar Radio while flipping the dial.
Life in General is Jason LeVasseur and Jerry Chapman. They played, sung, and helped produce my album “Looking for Fun.” If I remember correctly, I met them sometime around 1995 in an elevator in Anaheim, CA. It turns out that Jason was a fan of my comedy group Selected Hilarity. He went to school at WakeForestUniversity in Winston Salem and I believe had been to one of our shows in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. Jason invited us to a party back at he and Jerry’s hotel and we’ve been friends ever since.
I’ve seen countless Life in General shows through the years. They have opened shows for Ben Folds Five, The Wallflowers, Bryan Adams, Barenaked Ladies and the Dave Matthews Band. They’ve toured Australia. Jerry has jammed on stage with Eddie Vedder. They were picked by Musician Magazine as one of the top 100 unsigned bands in the country. And they are a three-time winner of the Campus Entertainment Award for Contemporary Music Artist of the Year.
I was honored to have them help produce “Looking for Fun.” They played all the instruments, did all the backup singing, and helped with lyric writing and arrangements. After the CD release, we performed several shows together, including one where they supported me as a headline act. Those are memories to last a lifetime.
I owe thanks to a lot of people who have helped me out through the years. Today’s post goes out to Jerry and Jason from Life in General. Get to know them – the whole world soon will…
I'd like to thank the folks at Blue Collar Radio on Sirius Satellite Channel 103 for playing my CD "Looking for Fun." The album has been in pretty regular rotation on , typically with at least three tracks played per day. Some of the funny songs played include:
They're also playing the commercial parodies off the CD, including: Hip Hop Hoedown, Escape from Alimony, Maximum Cliché, and Hardcore Weather Channel
I've been getting phone calls and emails from people around the country saying they heard me on the radio - including some old friends that I'd lost touch with. Thanks again to Sirius Blue Collar Radio for their support. If you haven't picked up the CD yet, you can get it at iTunes, Amazon, or my website here: Looking For Fun.
Let's work together to do some great things in 2007. I've got some awesome projects in the works, and I want to hear about what you're doing. If you belong to any of the sites listed below, please log in today and add me as a contact. Together we can make some major impact in the online world:
LinkedIn - social networking for professionals http://www.linkedin.com/in/larryweaver Choose "contact directly" and use the email address "lweaver at ciinc dot com"
A tin of Skoal mysteriously floats through the air. 
